Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Reflections of the 39th Year

I have achieved a milestone in my life. I am now 40 years
old. This has been a long road to get to this place and I am THANKFUL. I am
thankful to God for keeping me all of this time to get to a place that some did
not see. I thank Him for keeping me sane during times in my life when I truly
felt that I was going insane and wanted to kill myself.  I thank Him for courage and strength to keep
moving forward, even during the dark times when all I really wanted to do was
huddle in a corner and cower from the world.

People do not understand all that I went through to get to
this point in my life.  My existence on
this planet has been riddled with things that emotionally and mentally I just
knew would devour me. I remember vividly being in my room lying in my bed as a
teenager trying to sleep the pain away, only to wake up and feel worse than I
did before and cry for hours, suffering in silence by myself.  I remember feeling so alone that I thought
that if I was to no longer exist, the world wouldn’t have cared.

MY…how times have changed.

The 39th year of my existence brought me to a
place that I never dreamed I would be. For the first time in my life, as I
enter the world of 40, I feel GREAT about who I am and who God has called me to
be. I realize that I went through all of those things for a reason and that
reason was to shape and make me into the being that I am now.  I have learned and embraced the following:


  1. I am not nor have I EVER been what other people
    said, thought or wanted me to be. I am the ME that God created ME to be.

  1. The enemy worked overtime to keep me believing
    that I wasn’t worthy or that I was less than other people so that I wouldn’t
    realize my full potential.

  1. What other people think of me is NOWHERE NEAR AS
    IMPORTANT as what I think about myself.

  1. I am responsible for my life and my choices.

  1. I cannot make someone be more than they are
    willing to be, and I always have the option to say “ENOUGH! I AM DONE”.

  1. Chronology is not a factor in the life of a
    believer. God can use anyone, at any age, at any time, for ANY purpose He deems

  1. Life is but a VAPOR and can be gone in an
    instant; therefore, I cannot waste time grieving over things or people that
    hurt me or won’t change. I spent a good portion of my life being the aggressor
    and trying to get others to see this, but to no avail. I have now realized that
    it’s not my job.

  1. People can and only will do what you ALLOW.

  1. It is truly a gift and blessing to get older. My
    grandmother turned 89 on September 19th. My father (R.I.P. Daddy)
    passed at the age of only 67.  I don’t
    know if longevity is on my agenda, but I do know that no matter what, I will
    NEVER complain about seeing another year of my life.

  1. Laughter is GREAT. No one can explain it….and
    that’s what makes it GREAT.

  1. I no longer am looking for anyone to MAKE me
    happy, because people cannot MAKE you happy.

  1. My life matters to God and it matters to others.
    It always has and it always will.

  1. God’s FAVOR is better than MONEY any day of the
    week. Favor can supply things that money can’t buy.

  1. I am a LIVING, BREATHING, WALKING Testimony!!

Did you recognize that all of the things are #1?? LOL
Depending on the day/month, all of these were #1 at some point. :-)
I have gotten to this point in my life only by the GRACE and
LOVE of God! I don’t know what the year of 40 holds for me, but I do know that
I am walking into 40 with a new confidence, a new conviction, a new determination,
a new focus, a new outlook with new opportunities, new challenges and a renewed
sense of purpose…as a NEW ME!

I celebrate the NEW ME and I hope that through my discovery and testimony that it leads to some of you discovering a NEW YOU.  My goal in my life is to change lives for the positive in any way that I can.  What about you?

Until next time....

Sharpen your EDGE and your LIFE will never be DULL

I am
The Sharp One

Thursday, September 8, 2011

I am on the EDGE!!

I am sitting here on the edge....not the proverbial "edge" (as I will explain later).  I am on the edge of a lot of things.
- I am on the edge of the last days of being 39
- I am on the edge of the new age of 40
- I am on the edge of a new business venture
- I am on the edge of a new endeavor
- I am on the edge of GLORY and GREATNESS
This is so exciting...yet, it is unnerving.

Being on the EDGE is a very precarious place to be. You are not really sure of your footing and you don't really have a home; you are perched in such a way that you have a bird's eye view of things that from your visual perspective should be beautiful and breathtaking, but because of your physical footing and position are scary and unknown. Do you understand what I mean? Most people that say that "I am on the edge" refer to themselves as about to break emotionally or snap mentally; believe me when I say that I have been on THAT edge too and even being on that edge, the same things apply.

I had a talk with a friend today that made me realize that I was on the edge of all of these things and while that was an eye-opener for me, it was also a slap of reality right to my face. For you see, I realized that I am on the edge of all of this, but I am NOT MAKING ANY MOVES OR TAKING ANY STEPS BECAUSE I AM AFRAID THAT I AM GOING TO FALL OFF THE EDGE. This was indeed an "A-HA moment" for me. Here is why:

- I am on the edge of the last days of being 39, but if I move I will be in my 40s and maybe that's "old" and I don't want to lose my perceived youth; does that mean that I am too old to do some of the things I like to do, wear what I want to wear, etc. Shouldn't 40 "look" and "be" a certain way??? I ain't ready for that.

- I am on the edge of the new age of 40 but if I move can I really embrace that I am not getting any younger and that I now look at my life with a new vibrancy, yet with the knowledge and the tangibility of my own mortality?? How much longer do I have to live? Do I have regrets? What should I have done or didn't do when I was younger?? How the hell did I even MAKE IT to 40??

- I am on the edge of a new business venture but if I move and make this venture a reality, suppose it fails??? While all of this is in my head, it can be whatever I want it to be, but when I make it REAL, it can fail and I can fall short and I don't wanna fall or fail!!

- I am on the edge of a new endeavor but if I move can I handle the time that is necessary to put into a new endeavor and what will this mean for my future??

- I am on the edge of GLORY and GREATNESS but if I move will I do the right thing?? For that matter, WHO AM I to even be worthy of greatness? Why did God give me all of this to do? Am I equipped to do all that He has placed inside of me?

Yes readers, I AM ON THE EDGE. I am nervous, excited, bold, afraid, optimistic, pessimistic, strong, weak, fortified, fragile....I am all of these things AT ONCE. I am on the EDGE and I have been afraid to make a move. But NO MORE. I am on the EDGE and there is no sure ground. No sure footing. No guarantees. No safety net. I am on the EDGE.

There is no safe road. No map. No guide. No precedent. Just me, God, a wall against my back, the EDGE that I am standing on and the open space beneath me. That wide open space is OPPORTUNITY. It's BLESSING. It's FAVOR. It's PROVISION. It's PROSPERITY. It's HOPE. It's FAITH. It's LOVE. It's GOD.

Yes....I AM ON THE EDGE OF GREATNESS and it is MINE for the taking. So, for me, there is only one thing left for me to do.....


Sharpen you Edge and your life will NEVER be dull!

I am,

The Sharp One

Friday, July 1, 2011

If I Died Tonight....

Hello Everyone,
Today is the one year anniversary of my Daddy's transition to Glory with God. Things like that makes a person think and reflect on life and the after life. I wrote this and I wanted to share it with everyone. I want to be authentic and transparent. God Bless you all. I hope that this touches you and makes you also reflect and realize that life is precious and shouldn't be taken for granted, nor should the people around you be taken for granted.


If I died tonight,
what would be left unsaid?

What would remain silent
if I laid down and never again lifted my head?

Would people know what I went through
and how I felt about things?

Or would I leave them in despair, confused and wondering?

I think about my life and death almost constantly,

As I get older I wonder what will be the end I’ll see.

What will happen to the ones that I will leave behind?

How will their lives carry on when I reach the end of mine?

Will Da Babyknow that I loved him and that my life was made complete, the first time that
he called me “Daddy” or when he used to rub my feet?
Will he know that having him as a son was the thing I truly cherished most
and that the love I feel for him will live forever…even when I am a ghost?
Will he know that he made me grow up and be a true man
and be the father that God called me to be and be there to hold his hand?
Be his true example of what being a real man is all about,
the same way my beloved father did for me without a shadow of a doubt.

If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?

What would remain silent if I laid down and never again lifted my head?

Will Da Monkey know that being my son changed my entire life around?
Will he know that saying “Daddy” to me was an incredible and loving sound?
Will he know that being my youngest son has brought me so much joy
and that without question I loved him astoundingly because he was my baby boy?
Would he know I loved to hear him laugh and talk to him all the time
and that I knew he was destined for greatness because he is truly one of a kind.

If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?

What would remain silent if I laid down and never again lifted my head?

Would my Bookie, my Boo, my Geo, my Sugarbear and my Puffs know just how much I cared?
Would my Moe Moe know that I pray for him all the time simply because I was scared,
that he will turn into this cold hearted thug and lose his life to the
street. Will he know that I really wanted the best for him regardless what he felt about me?
And what about the godchild Liquey that I didn’t get the chance to know.
Will her father tell her about me? I assume the answer would be no.
Would all of my godchildren know that I loved them as if they were my own
and that the last thing that I ever wanted was to leave my babies here alone.

If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?

What would remain silent if I laid down and never again lifted my head?

Would all of my sisters know that sometimes I just wanted to break down and scream
and tell them that I love them so much I was bursting at the seams?
Would they know that I am proud of them and that I bragged on all of them constantly
and without them I really don’t know where I would be?

If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?

What would remain silent if I laid down and never again lifted my head?

Would Brother, Tony and Chris know how much I used to pray
that God would see fit to give me a brother one day;
and the day God gave me them was truly a blessing from above
and that they made me understand the true meaning of brotherly love.
Would they know that even though they’re older, I was always their big brother
standing in protective mode ready to defend them from all others.

If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?

What would remain silent if I laid down and never again lifted my head?

What would all of my nieces and nephews think that I thought about them?
Would they know that they gave my life meaning and how much I truly adore them?
Would BJ know that Uncle Clint loved him from the day of his birth
and that he meant the world to me while I was on this earth?
Will the others know that I loved them and that DNA is a lie,
because when it comes to true love DNA stands for DOES NOT APPLY?
We may not have shared blood but that really didn’t matter.
When you say “Unc” I bow my head. I am honored and I’m flattered.

If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?

What would remain silent if I laid down and never again lifted my head?

everyone I left behind, know that all I really wanted to do, was be the best
man that I could be and I tried my best to be true. I tried to be forgiving and
loving and true blue. I tried to be honest, to be caring and authentic too. I
tried my damndest at all times, but there were times I missed the mark and I
made the wrong the decisions, but I still had a good heart. I really just
wanted to get it right and be the best that I could be and be the man that God
had forged and called me to be. Would they know that I lived for others and that
I did that willingly, not for glory or for recognition but because it was just
the right thing.

I know that
it’s inevitable. I am not really afraid to die,

because “dying”
would mean going to see my daddy in Glory on high.

But I got so much living to do, I have so much more to say
before I close my eyes and go to
Heaven one day.

But, If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?

What would remain silent
if I laid down and never again lifted my head?

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


I haven't been here for a minute but I have so much to talk about today. I hope this finds you well and after reading this you realize just how POWERFUL you truly are!!
I watched the last Oprah show today. I wanted to see how she would end things and how she would bring this chapter of her life to a close. I really got more than I bargained for.  For 50 minutes, Oprah basically taught, preached and inspired in a way that I had never seen her do.  I left that experience with tears in my eyes and feeling more in charge of my life and more inspired than I have EVER felt before.  Her moving to a new chapter in her life made me realize that I was doing the same thing and didn’t really acknowledge it that way.  This is a new chapter for me too.
Something she said got under my skin really deep.  She said one of her guests said to her “You are responsible for your own energy”.  That hit me like a ton of bricks and I had an “A HA moment”. My entire life I have been able to sense energy and auras of others but I didn’t know what I was feeling and what I was experiencing; I understand now that this is a gift from God.  For YEARS I let people rob me of my energy and make me feel like I was less than and good for nothing. I felt like such a misfit and I thought something was wrong with me. I dismissed what I felt as just me being over emotional or sometimes just plain crazy. I wouldn't tell people what I felt and just came to the conclusion that everyone else was right about me and I was wrong. That is what low self esteem will do to you.  I wasted so much time GIVING energy to things and people that didn’t mean my energy any good.  I realize now this crucial thing:
What a POWERFUL revelation for me!  I knew there were people that meant me harm and went out of their way to hurt me. That was by design, because if I realized that I WAS GREAT, they would realize THEY WERE NOT!  But now I know the truth; now I know what I was feeling and dealing with. I WASN’T A MISFIT AFTER ALL. I am not the names they call me. I am not the worthless person that they made me believe I was.  I DO have gifts. I DO have talent. I DO have an anointing. I DO have a calling. I DO have a purpose.  I DO sense positive and negative energy. Guess what my friend?  SO DO YOU!  Someone reading this has felt the same way. Energy transference is REAL. 
I had a Reiki treatment a few months ago. The definition of Reiki is:
“A Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by "laying on hands" and is based on the idea that an unseen "life force energy" flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one's "life force energy" is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy.  The word Reiki is made of two Japanese words - Rei which means "God's Wisdom or the Higher Power" and Ki which is "life force energy". So Reiki is actually "spiritually guided life force energy."

This was BETTER than ANY massage that I have EVER had in my life. She manipulated my energy field and she NOT ONCE put her hands on me. The whole experience took 45 minutes. When she finished, I was so relaxed, at peace and exhausted, you would think I had played a contact sport. All I wanted to do was go home and PRAY and then go to sleep. It was AWESOME. I would encourage you to have a Reiki session; you will know after that that energy is REAL and PRESENT. (If you need a referral to the place I go, just ask me and I will be more than happy to give you one).  I say all of that to say this; you cannot allow everyone to transfer energy to you and you shouldn’t give your energy to everyone. That energy is a force that God has given us and through our spirit selves, we can use this energy to sense things around us and DISCERN things. This energy is unique to each of us and is truly a gift from God.  When was the last time that you felt that someone you were around was “negative”, yet they hadn’t done anything to you or said anything to you? Then you find out that you were right.  That is discernment of the Spirit and that discernment filters through that energy. 
Until next time
Sharpen your Edge and your LIFE will never be DULL!
I am
The Sharp One

Friday, February 18, 2011

Do a 180 to achieve a 360

This week and especially today, I have been battling my demons and my emotions. I really don't know where it all came from, but I realized today that I have to look myself in the face and get in touch with my pain in order to find my peace.

My entire life (up until about 5 years ago) I battled low self esteem. Yes, ME! When I tell people that, they find it hard to believe but it is so so true! I have to come clean so that I can continue to heal, but so that others can read my testimony and heal too.

I never thought that I was good enough. I had a lot of pressure on me at a young age to be the best at everything I do. I was identified as gifted when I was very young. That was a blessing and a curse at the same time. My mother expected and wanted a lot out of me, but she didn't really know how to motivate me to be the person that she thought I could be. Instead, I think her brand of motivation had the opposite effect. She wasn't abusive to me, but she was hard on me. She thought that comparing me to others would make me want to achieve, but it didn't. It made me resentful, which then made me lazy and uncaring. While I was battling that, I was also battling the fact that I was unattractive. I was very slim and people would always comment on it. It was so painful to go to school and hear all of the things that people would sometimes say. I was bullied in the 3rd grade and then again tormented in the 6th grade. By the time I reached Middle school, I was emotionally and mentally a train wreck. I was suffering in silence because I didn't want people to think I was weak. I didn't want people to know that I had weaknesses. That was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. When I got to High School, I was just mentally and emotionally unhealthy, but no one knew. I kept everything bottled up inside of me and kept people at arm's length. I felt ugly and unappealing to girls; in fact, I couldn't get a girl to even look my way, much less want to date me. People called me names and I believed what they called me. I became what they called me because I chose to believe I was weak and vulnerable. Life was hell.

I remember feeling like I wanted to kill myself. I could never bring myself to do it, but I contemplated suicide more times than I care to remember. I wrote the note but didn't have the guts to leave it. I wasn't even good at plotting to kill myself. What a waste of space I was. I plodded on and just really went through the motions of life until I graduated and went to college.

Now, the most amazing thing about all of this is that I had friends (lots of them), family that loved me and by Senior year I was THE most popular person in the entire school. It was great…but at the same time, it meant absolutely nothing. Nothing means NOTHING if you don't love yourself. I was in the greatest moment of my life, having the worst time of my life.

It wasn't until I learned that I was worth something because God made me to be SOMEBODY, that my life started to change. A couple of years ago, I took a hiatus from everything and everyone so that I could focus on God and focus on myself. It was during the month of February 2009. When March came, I was a NEW person. BRAND NEW!! What was on the INSIDE was now starting to be reflected on the OUTSIDE. I had to do a 180 (turning in the opposite direction of my pain and problems) to do a 360 (coming full circle to understand that my life is great and the best is yet to come).

I will continue this series in future blogs. I have so much more about me that I want to share and need to share. I will leave you with a poem I wrote in April of 2010 that captures all that I went through to become the man I am today. It is entitled:



February 09 a caterpillar went missing

Worn, busted and disgusted...tired of just existing.

Had to be alone with God so that He could reveal

all my hurts on the inside. It was time to heal.

Time to let go of all the pain that I've traveled with all these years.

All the hurt, all the fear, all the doubt, all the tears.

Time for a new man to emerge with purpose and drive;

with new determination and a new fire inside.

Time to stop dressing up the OUTSIDE to make my inside SEEM cool,

realizing I have been living my life backwards. What a fool. What a fool!

Cuz you see change, REAL CHANGE is from the INSIDE OUT.

Change your heart and your body follows. That's what I'm shouting about.

See, you haven't walked not one mile in my worn out shoes

nor lived one damn moment of my blues.

And you haven't sung not one note of my song...

It's by God's grace and His mercy that I've made it this long.

So I entered my Chrysalis and for28 straight days I let God shape my being

I was truly AMAZED.

Good bye to old hurts. Good bye to old pain.

Good bye to old friends.

Good bye to my old name.

No longer will this caterpillar walk with his head hanging down

just trying to survive scurrying aimlessly on the ground.

28 days of Revelation, 28 days of Reflection,

28 days of Meditation, 28 days of Introspection.

28 days that felt like 28 years, but on the 28th day a beam of light appeared.

With new strength and determination, I push and I twist.

I discover something miraculous is happening as I emerge from my Chrysalis.

I am not the same person I was when I went in.

Something is very different and I feel it WITHIN.

Alvin Fowlkes, the caterpillar that went into hiding had to DIE,


I am now a MONARCH. That means I reign SUPREME.

And I am AWESOME, I crush my haters like a Jelly bean.

I was kinda fly before, but I'm a BETTER FLY now

because now I know who I am and ain't no stopping me now.

I have no peers...yes that means I'm PEERLESS!

I have no fears....but I wouldn't say that I'm FEARLESS,

but I do FEAR LESS than I did before. My fear now motivates me to do SO MUCH MORE!!!

I have the heart of a lion and the strength of 100 men

and the courage of those same 100 times 10.

Yes, I am a BETTERFLY...better than before

and with these wings I BETTER FLY cuz God's got so much in store.

And I am ready for it all so I am about to take flight.

There no need to be afraid. I am headed toward the light.

And when I fly, I fly high....higher than anything can.

Higher than any bird, any plane, ANY man!

See when you fly this high, you don't have to look around.

When you the dopest thing in the sky, there is no need to look down.

So now just look up and you will see me streaking across the sky

into the bright sunlight....ALVIN FOWLKES, THE MONARCH BETTERFLY!!!!



Until next time….SHARPEN YOUR EDGE and your life will NEVER be DULL!

I am

The Sharp One

Friday, January 28, 2011

It’s Only a Test

I have a very dear friend who is in the midst of a battle; a battle for their soul and a battle for their sanity. My friend is very independent, strong, capable and determined, yet my friend feels helpless and confused at this time in their life. For my friend, this is out of the norm. See, my friend is very used to having all of the answers and making rational decisions. My friend is very educated (has a Ph.D.), very accomplished and highly intelligent; however the battle that my friend is going through has them stumped. My friend is attractive on the outside and inside to the opposite sex, outgoing, well spoken, well traveled and well versed; yet my friend can't seem to understand why they are going through this time.
How many times have you ever felt like this? Your life was just about to be on track and all of a sudden, something comes through and derails your thoughts and your emotions quicker than you can blink your eyes. Once you were cool, calm and collected, but that has now been replaced with fear, anger, anxiety and frustration. How could this be happening? Why is this happening? I am here to tell you. IT'S ONLY A TEST!
Every now and again, I believe God allows tests in our lives. Tests serves a few purposes; one purpose is to see how much we have learned and retained during our time of study; another purpose is to see how prepared we are to go to the next level. If we fall short in any of those categories, the results serve as a reminder that we still need preparation or that we are not yet ready to progress to the next level. That in and of itself can be frustrating; especially when we truly believe that we are ready for the next level. The truth is that sometimes the student has no clue if he or she is ready to progress; only the teacher who gives the test can evaluate the readiness of the student. In life, that teacher for us is God. When God gives us a test, we sometimes gripe and grumble because we aren't prepared properly for the test, or we simply don't want to take the test. Sometimes God will even give us a POP QUIZ just to see if we are paying attention in class. Other times, we know that the test is coming and yet we still choose not to study or prepare.
In my friend's case, this is a pop quiz. Out of the blue, the test came and my friend stands bewildered wondering why they are being tested. The answer is because it is time to move to the next level on ALL LEVELS. Mentally, emotionally, physically, financially…a breakthrough is inevitable; however, this test is necessary so that success is achieved on the next level. The test is a sign that PROMOTION is about to take place. The test is a sign that the NEXT LEVEL is in sight. Don't be upset with the test. Embrace the fact that the test is here because it means that you are about to be elevated. Your goal now is to pass the test. In life the only way to do that is to PRAY, LISTEN and ENDURE. Endurance is the key to completing the test and not throwing in the towel in haste.
Late 2009 and all of 2010, I was tested. It was the worst time of my life and I dealt with some of the most difficult things I could have imagined; paramount of all these things was the passing of my father. Do I still miss him? Absolutely. Every day, I think about him and I ache a little inside, but each day it gets a little easier. I will never fully recover from losing my daddy. I will always have emptiness in me that will gnaw at me forever, but each day I handle that pain a little better. I had other trials that surrounded me during this time, but 2010 is over, 2011 has begun, this phase of testing in my life is completed and I am looking at my report card. I got an A!!! I AM READY FOR PROMOTION….ARE YOU?
Until next time,
I am
The Sharp One

Friday, January 21, 2011


I suffer from an ailment that I have named “Superman Syndrome”.  It is a disease that most people don’t even realize that they suffer from, but if left untreated, it can cause sleeplessness, anxiety, mood swings, frustration, and physical illness and in rare cases….DEATH.  Let me explain to you what Superman Syndrome is and maybe you can see if you suffer from it too.
I am a caregiver and a nurturer; I have been my entire life. I have always felt the need to care for others and try to be there for other people.  People seek me out for advice, knowledge and wisdom and I am more than happy to oblige them.  It is very gratifying when people look up to you enough to want to hear what you have to say and what you think.  That’s the good news. Here’s the drawback.  When I myself am in need of someone’s guidance and advice, I don’t get reciprocal treatment from the people that I help; no one is there for me to help me to navigate through my issues and problems. It is not only frustrating, but it is extremely painful. How come the people that I listen to won’t listen to me? How come they won’t help me?  This made me resentful and bitter towards those people.
As I grew and matured, I realized that the fault really didn’t lie with the people that weren’t listening to me, but it actually was on ME. I know that doesn’t make sense, but that is part of the syndrome. Let me break it down like this: We all know who Superman is and what he was sent from his home planet to do here on Earth; Superman is the protector of the weaker and the savior of down trodden. He swoops in and saves people and takes them out of harm’s way. That is his job. That is his mission. However, when Superman himself is in trouble and needs help, can he realistically rely on the SAME PEOPLE THAT HE SAVES to save him???
Superman’s personal problems, battles and fights are much, much bigger than the people that he saves; therefore, the people that he saves are NOT equipped to save him or help him. THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO. So who saves Superman???  The answer is other HEROES that are equipped and ready to handle problems and situations on that level that Superman is used to dealing with alone. Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, and Green Lantern etc. are all powerful and are equipped to help someone like Superman. The average townsperson is nowhere near equipped for such a battle.  Can Superman fault them for that? Certainly not.
Now let’s look at our lives. Constantly we may help people, but when we are in need, we expect those same people to help us. The problem is that they may not be equipped to help us. That is not their fault. It is not your fault. That is the way that it is. Therefore, we need to seek help from people that are truly equipped to help us. The problem is because you are SUPERMAN; you may not feel that it is right for you to ask for help. After all….YOU ARE SUPERMAN AND SUPERMAN DOESN’T NEED HELP, RIGHT? 
The bottom line is we all need help at times, but we may be turning to the wrong people for help. God puts people in our lives that are ready and have the provisions to help us, but we may be too embarrassed, proud or stubborn to ask because we are so used to solving problems for others. I had to learn that I had to HUMBLE myself, swallow my PRIDE and ask people to help me; people that were EQUIPPED to help me with my struggles. I had to learn that the same people that confide in me, may not be the people that I can confide in NO MATTER HOW MUCH I MAY LOVE THEM. This is not about love. I can love them and care for them without looking to them for help and that is perfectly okay.  I have to know that however, when I do need that help, I can turn to people that may be SMARTER, WISER, MORE EXPERIENCED, RICHER OR MORE POWERFUL THAN ME.  That too is JUST FINE.  God did not put us here to do everything by ourselves. People are here to help each other. Why not take the chance and allow for the help.
The other part of the syndrome is understanding that as powerful as you are, YOU CANNOT HELP OR SAVE EVERYONE. You also cannot feel guilty or defeated because of this. WE ARE HUMAN. We are going to let other people down as well as let ourselves down. The key is to forgive ourselves and keep moving forward.
The first step lies in you. Recognize that you have the disease and start treating it IMMEDIATELY
1.       Stop trying to solve everybody’s problems.
2.       Stop looking for the people you help to always help you.
3.       Start looking toward people that may be stronger than you and find strength to ask for help, trust and confide in them.
4.       Look in the mirror and say “I AM NOT SUPERMAN”
There is no cure for this syndrome. If you are a nurture/caregiver type, then that is who you are; however, you can find the strength within to know when you can’t help anyone if you don’t first help yourself.
Make sense?  I hope so.
Please comment on my Facebook wall or directly in the blog if you have signed up.
Tell the world about Sharp’s Edge. We are going to change the world!!!

I Am

The Sharp One

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Why Hate??

You know, I have NEVER understood HATERATION!! Term it however you want…drinking HATERADE, being a HATER, etc. Whatever you call it, it has never made any sense to me. Hating on people is about as productive as trying to count snowflakes as they fall to the ground. IT IS FUTILE. So why hate? Why do people hate? I have a few theories of my own.
  1. People hate because they feel that you don't deserve what you have. What a stupid thing to do. How dare anyone stand in judgment of people and try to quantify the blessings that God has given them and self-righteously say "they have too much"??? People do this all of the time. When I bought my house, I had people ask me, why do you have so many bedrooms? BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I WANTED AND GOD BLESSED ME WITH? Have you ever had anyone say to you that you don't need all that? I know you have. That is a sure sign of a hater.
  2. People hate because they don't think they can achieve at the level that you have. That is crazy to me. We have the capacity to do all that we want to do in life. The question is…ARE YOU WILLING TO DO ALL THAT IT TAKES TO GET IT? Most people aren't. They say the grass is greener on the other side…do you know why? It is because of all of the fertilizer that was put on the grass. TRANSLATION: You don't know all of the shit I had to go through to get to where I am. Nobody knows what people actually go through to achieve the things they have achieved. Haters think that it just came easy. Haters are WRONG!
  3. People hate because secretly they struggle with themselves and their esteem. Let's be real. There are a lot of people out there who just feel crappy about themselves and because of it, they treat others like garbage. How sad, but true. Because they feel so bad about themselves, they see everyone else as inferior or threats to their happiness. All hating does is BREED DEEPER INSECURITY. If you are constantly comparing yourself to other people, when will you ever see the good in you? How can you feel good about yourself when you are always comparing yourself to some standard that is irrational and unreasonable?
  4. People hate because they want to be top dog. People hate on others that they feel have more than they do. They can't and aren't content with what they have…they want to have more and better things than everyone else. If you have a 50 inch LCD TV, they have to get a 55 inch LED. Once they get it they are fine….UNTIL they overhear that one of their friends has a 60 inch 3D LED. This creates a vicious cycle. They will never be satisfied with anything because the reality is people will have things that you don't. Guess what? That is OKAY!
  5. People hate because they like it. Isn't that a sad fact?? Don't we all know people that thrive off of drama? Don't we all know people that stir up controversy all of the time? These are PROFESSIONAL HATERS. They have mastered the art of hating. They could write a book on how to hate and hate successfully. When you recognize those people, your best bet is to steer clear of them at all costs. HATE IS CONTAGIOUS. Think about your life. How many times have you been "talked into" not liking someone that you had absolutely no problem with, but your friend did? What did you gain (besides a headache) by doing that? I have PRO GRADE HATERS in my life right now. They don't hate on me, but I see them hate on other people. It's ridiculous.
Bottom line is this. IT TAKES WAY TOO MUCH ENERGY TO HATE, so why do it? If you are around a hater, use your hater to be your elevator to your next level. If you ARE the hater, then you need to ask yourself why and remedy the problem. The problem lies inside you and you have to be bold enough to take an honest look at yourself and discover why you are the way you are. HATERATION CAN BE CURED AND IT CAN BE PREVENTED. Consider this blog your inoculation.
I would love for you to comment on this subject in the comments section. Please share some of your insights about hate and hating. We want to hear what you have to say.
Until next time.

Sharpen your Edge and your life will never be Dull!
I am,
The Sharp One

Monday, January 10, 2011

You can’t tell me NOTHING!

I asked a question today via Facebook and Twitter:
I got varying responses to this question. I won't go into what people said, but I will go ahead and tell you the answer:
(Note: please insert "woman" wherever you see "man". This is an Equal Opportunity Lesson (smile))
Let's examine this for a second. A SMART man is a person that knows everything and thinks that all that he knows is all that there is TO know; he spends so much time DEFENDING all that he knows that he doesn't shut his mouth long enough or check his ego long enough to discover that he has so much more to learn. Have you ever had a discussion with a KNOW IT ALL? Isn't it frustrating??? They've been around the world twice, shook everyone's hand and have the T-shirt to prove it. When you try to tell them anything, not only do they already know what you are talking about but they know that subject WAY BETTER than you. You stand there in amazement because EVERY SUBJECT you bring up, they have so much knowledge on it, it just "astounds" you (yes I am being sarcastic). If you did it, they did it better; if you went to a 5 Star Hotel, they stayed in the penthouse. If you went on vacation, they went too, but only they went First Class and were V.I.P. everything. Yeah….THOSE PEOPLE!
Now equate this to knowledge. You are trying to have a conversation about something and no matter what you say, no matter what you do, no matter what you bring up….they know it all!!! How is this possible? Here's the bomb shell….wait for it……..
No one knows EVERYTHING, no matter how much they pretend to. We all have room to grow and learn. It is a WISE man that knows that he can learn from anyone and EVERYTHING around him. I am a college professor; I teach all of the Business curricula and advise students on career choice and job searches. I love what I do, and I have been told that I am very good at what I do. While I appreciate what people have to say about me, let me make one thing perfectly clear….I AM NOT PERFECT. I am always in a posture for learning. I learn from people around me that I know clearly are smarter and more knowledgeable than me; furthermore, I learn from the students that I advise and teach; they have knowledge about things that I don't have a clue about, but I am willing to listen and willing to learn. Let me share a story. I was displaced from a job back in 2009 and I had the privilege of working with a Career Planning Service. When I went to see my counselor, she asked me to bring her my resume' so that she could peruse it and make improvements; she pulled out a red ink pen and basically bled all over my resume' with red ink. She looked at me and said "I hope I didn't hurt your feelings". I looked at her and said "Look, this ain't about my feelings. I need a job. Your job is to help me get a job. My feelings aren't that fragile. You know what you are doing so do what you must, I can take it." She responded by saying "A lot of people take offense when I tell them the things that are wrong". I said "Well with all due respect, why the hell do they come to see you then?" She laughed and said "You know what…I don't know". Why would someone seek the help of a professional and turn around and tell the professional all that they are doing wrong or they perceive as wrong? One word….INSECURITY.
INSECURITY is a powerful force. When people feel insecure, there only mission is to make themselves feel safe and secure again. I grew up with low self-esteem and believe me, all I wanted to do was be secure and I was willing to achieve that at any cost. SMART people don't want to be questioned or have their knowledge challenged because they don't want the holes in their armor to be exposed. What the SMART man doesn't realize is if he took the time to examine the weaknesses in his armor, he would know how to FORTIFY his armor and make it better. The problem is he doesn't think he has any weaknesses. We all know that's just not true. PRIDE COMETH BEFORE THE FALL.
So….are you a SMART man or a WISE man? Can you be taught? Do you want to learn or are you comfortable being just the way you are and not being questioned? Take time to examine yourself and your ideology and ask yourself the question…."Am I so stuck in my own fantasy that I refuse to see reality?" If that is you, then BE WISE ENOUGH TO STOP BEING SMART.
PS. If you are a PARENT, this applies to you too. When is the last time you LISTENED to your children when they tell you what's wrong, instead of comparing how small their problems are in comparison to your big problems??? This is fodder for a future blog, but the question bore asking in this posting. Just something to think about…….hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I will talk to you next time. Tomorrow, stop talking and listen to someone and let them tell you SOMETHING. J

Sharpen your Edge and your life will NEVER be Dull!

I am
The Sharp One

Friday, January 7, 2011

This is only a TEST

This is a test blog to see if my blog will automatically be sent to my Facebook and Twitter pages. Please bear with me as I do this test.

2011....We doin' it BIG LIKE JUPITER!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Did you REALLY say THAT????

Can you believe some of the stupid things that people let fly out of their mouths sometime? I sit back in amazement and listen to how people can say such crap and MEAN it! LOL
On Facebook I enumerated some things and I am going to add to the list.  Today's series is called:


First statement: "This is just who I am" COME ON, THAT'S A CROCK OF ****! This is who you CHOOSE to be. You could change IF YOU WANTED TO. There is nothing motivating you YET to make the change. It is not critical yet, but ONE DAY IT WILL BE!

Second statement: "Christmas snuck up on me this year". COME ON, THAT'S A CROCK OF ****!! If you weren't able to do the things that you desired to do for people for Christmas then that is OK. If they love you, they understand. Christmas is EVERY YEAR, ON THE SAME DATE, IN THE SAME MONTH and it "snuck up" on you??? Really?? My birthday can sneak up on you, but NOT A NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED HOLIDAY!! Just say nothing. :-)  If you feel insecure about not being able to do things for Christmas, then you are entitled to feel that way; however, don't go out of your way and say how a holiday that we ALL know "snuck up" on you. Just tell the truth..."I wasn't able to do the things I wanted to do for Christmas this year." Nuff said. It is just what happened this year and that's ok. But the LIE is Christmas "snuck up" on you. That is the equivalent of me walking up to you face to face, calling your name the entire time and I touch you on the shoulder and you scream and jump saying "You snuck up on me". REALLY????

Third Statement: "It is what it is" COME ON, THAT'S A CROCK OF ****! I absolutely HATE this phrase. People say this when they feel they can't change things or when they don't want to change things. It is a statement of powerlessness. Just because it IS, doesn't mean that it has to BE. It can be changed. I am speaking to the people that accept mediocrity, dysfunction and sub par things as law. It is NOT what it is...It is what you ACCEPT!

‎Fourth Statement: "I didn't mean what I said". COME ON, THAT'S A CROCK OF ****! YOU MEANT WHAT YOU SAID; YOU JUST DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY IT. Words are like toothpaste from a tube. Once it's OUT it's OUT!! 2 times I really listen to people; when they are mad and when they are drunk. Inhibitions are down & they say what they think & feel. If you don't believe me, make someone mad enough & see what they say to you. BE WARNED.

‎Fifth Statement: "I don't need people". COME ON, THAT'S A CROCK OF ****! If God intended that we didn't need anyone, we would all inhabit a planet by ourselves. Since we don't, my guess is that you are going to need somebody at some point in your life. Let these three words set you free..."I NEED HELP". You will be fascinated at what that admission will do for your life.

‎Sixth Statement: "Don't let what he/she said bother you. It's just words". COME ON, THAT'S A CROCK OF ****! Words are the MOST POWERFUL THINGS EVER. Words can start wars, destroy self-esteem, bring destruction, etc. When someone says that sticks and stones crap...I tell them I would rather take the sticks and stones than ...have someone verbally assault me. WORDS ARE POWERFUL and in the wrong mouth can be DEADLY.

Seventh Statement: "People don't get my sense of humor" COME ON, THAT'S A CROCK OF ****! HOW ABOUT THIS, YOU AIN'T FUNNY AND you KNOW you AIN'T funny. Being sarcastic & cynical is NOT humor. That's called being a JERK! If you're the only 1 laughing while everyone else is silent..leave before there's a situation cuz when someone catches feelings, you gonna punk out and play "victim". I say again...YOU AIN'T FUNNY!

Eighth Statement: "I'm not mean, I am just brutally honest" COME ON, THAT'S A CROCK OF ****!  Yes, you are mean!Look at the word "brutal".  Do you ever hear anyone say that someone is brutally nice or brutally generous? NO! People get arrested for brutality. So how in the world can you think that brutal honesty isn't being mean? We have all heard the saying "the truth hurts". Well, yes the truth can hurt; do we really need brutality along with it? Brutal honesty is unnecessary. You don't have to be brutal in order to be truthful. People who are brutally honest are doing so because that gives them a sense of power and control over the person they are telling the truth to. I have seen people watch their words of truth really hurt someone, only for them to stand there and say "I'm not trying to hurt you, I am just being honest". How the hell would you feel if someone did something like that to you? You probably would want to fight them. There is a way to say everything. Let the truth be painful the brutality.

Ninth Statement: "I don't want to have a lot of money. I wouldn't know what to do with myself" COME ON, THAT'S A CROCK OF ****!  I get so tired of people that act like having a lot of money is a sin. IT IS NOT! I hope to one day have a lot of money. I want to go about it the right way and do it the right way, but I would LOVE to see what it's like to say "money is no object". Well, I will put it to you like this...every time you say, "I don't want to have a lot of money", you are GUARANTEEING that YOU WON'T. That's cool; I will gladly take your share. :-)

Tenth Statement:  Male statement "I am the man of the house"  COME ON, THAT'S A CROCK OF ****! Let me tell you something fellas...(I am putting my MBA on the shelf for a second and speaking the way I want) If you ain't got no job, don't pay no bills and ain't tryna find a job, you are NOT the man of the house. You are a BUM! Oh, and let's make this clear too. Just because you knockin' the bottom out (and we all KNOW what I'm talking about) don't make you the man of the house either! Eventually, she will find someone else to beat it up that HAS A JOB, PAYS THE BILLS AND HAS ASPIRATIONS TO BE BETTER. Sorry to be the one to tell you, but your days are numbered. My suggestion is to go out and find a job quickly, take your sorry butt back to school and get some much needed education and start talking about your goals. Your penis will not overcome BEING BROKE. If she is working and you are not...DISASTER.

Eleventh Statement: Female Statement "I am looking for someone to complete me" COME ON, THAT'S A CROCK OF ****!  Ladies.....REALLY??  Complete you? Listen to how that sounds. You need someone to make you whole??? You ARE whole. What you really want is someone to share your life with. Lady, I know that you want a person to love and you want that man to be your everything, but I have got a wake up call for you too sister. GOD IS YOUR EVERYTHING. Everything else falls short...including the man that you are looking for that you think will "complete" you. And let's be honest...he will NEVER complete you. He will always miss the mark. Why?? Because he's human.
One of the phrases I hate is when a woman tells a man to "man up". What the HELL??? Man UP!?!? When a woman says that, she means one of three things: 1. Be like this man that I made up in my mind. 2. Be like this man that I saw in the movies and TV ("Love and Basketball" has messed up many a man) or 3. Be like my father. In any of the three scenarios HE WILL FAIL!! He won't ever be like the dude you made up in your mind because you will keep changing him and making him (the dude in your mind) better and better while your real man gets worse and worse. He won't be like the dude on TV or in the movies because his character and dialog are SCRIPTED so he knows all of the right things to do and say. Your real man DOESN'T. He won't ever be like your father, because let's face it...who is better than your daddy?? And if you were/are "Daddy's Little Girl" that man is going to catch HELL. Just let him be the best HIM that he can be. If that falls short or if his best is LAME AT BEST, then chuck up the deuces and BOUNCE.

Hope this opened your eyes and made you laugh some too! At the end of the day, all we can be is the best we can be, but we have to strive to be our best. Let's start in a positive direction and get rid of these statements.  Please don't be mad at me, I'm not being mean, I am just brutally honest. LOLOLOLOLOL [ GOTCHA! :-) ]

Sharpen your Edge and your life will never be dull.

I am
The Sharp One

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

ONE yet Many

WOW! I can't believe that I am doing this?  I am actually blogging. I have talked about it and talked about it but now it is becoming a reality.

Welcome to my blog...Sharp's Edge. I hope that you find what I have to say interesting and that you will share my blog with others. I want to be a voice that is heard far and wide. I thank you for taking time to visit and support me.

Well, look. It's 2011. I can't even believe that I am here.  There was a time that I didn't think that I would make it here. 2010 was the WORST year yet the BEST year of my life.  As you get to know me, I will share more about 2010 and what happened to me and what I learned but for right now, suffice it to say...IT WAS A TERRIBLE YEAR.
The good thing that came out of 2010 is that I learned so much about myself. I am in awe that I learned so much and that I was able to see things about myself that were once foreign to me. I never thought of myself as strong, sexy, visionary, creative, ingenious, handsome, stylish, GQ, brilliant, smart....NONE OF THAT; however, those are the adjectives that people around me were using to describe ME! ME???  ARE YOU SERIOUS??

I had such low self esteem growing up. I literally hated myself and everything about me. There were times I would pray to God to just let me die. I contemplated suicide, but I didn't have the nerve to go through with it, so I would ask God to just take me. I was in so much pain as a teenager. I hid my pain from everyone, but deep down I was a wreck. It took me YEARS to learn to love myself and give myself any credit for the things I did. I praise God that He did NOT honor my request for death. I now have such a rich LIFE. 

2011 is going to be THE YEAR! Things that I have been saying that I want to do, I am going to do. One of the things is blog. People would come to Facebook and tell me that they look forward to my words. I am so flattered by that; there was a time that I didn't feel like I had anything important to say. I now know that I do.

I want you to read a note that I wrote about myself on Facebook. I wrote this a little over a month before my Daddy passed away and transitioned to live eternally with God. Read below:

People have asked me to BLOG for a long time now. Consider this my first entry.

You can't make family treat you like family. No matter how much you want it or try it, you can't make family treat you like family. I've decided to STAND. I am a SON, a BROTHER, a FATHER, a GODFATHER, an UNCLE. For some I have a new name...a CONVENIENCE. I realize that now. No longer fighting for it. Take me and my love for granted. I have lived long enough to know that one day you will regret taking my love for granted. It is one thing to have a life and want me to respect you for having it. I do. It is another issue all together when you make me out to be such a ogre because I want to spend time with you...considering that we spend NO TIME together. That's okay for you. You've made that clear. It IS NOT, WAS NOT and WON'T EVER BE ok for me.

I have learned that the hard way. My father as we speak lies in a hospital bed a mere shadow of all that he once was. I would give away everything I own to get him back to where he once was. That is how much I love him. That is how much I miss him...the him he was. He is the HIM that he is now and I appreciate the fact he is still with me, but it is the HIM that he WAS that has made ME the MAN that I am NOW. Even in his state now, he is still teaching me things. He is still being my father. He is still showing me things. This is what I have learned.

I know you love me, but knowing ain't enough.You telling me ain't enough. Love comes with SACRIFICE. Love comes with ACCOUNTABILITY. Love comes with RESPONSIBILITY. Looking at things through the cracked lens of dysfunction does not make the picture clearer; that is called DISTORTION. What is good for someone in a distorted situation is okay to them because all they know is dysfunction. We all have dysfunction. The key is not using dysfunction as an excuse or a reason for your shabby treatment of me. You can't keep telling me that you love me, but you won't spend time with me. If you want to see what a person has in his/her heart...LOOK AT WHERE THEY SPEND THEIR TIME AND THEIR MONEY. If they spend it doing all of the things they want to do then what they really love is THEMSELVES. If you ask them to spend time and money on you and the first thing they do is buck then they aren't willing to pay the cost from their reserve. No one has a problem with you living your life. It is your life to live and I want that for you to the fullest; however, that doesn't mean that I don't want a part of you for myself every now and then. You could slow down if you want to. You choose NOT TO.

How do I know this? I have lived it. I have done people I said I loved. The end result....I LOST THEM. I regret it everyday of my life. No matter what I do now, I can't get them back. I have tried and tried and they won't take me back. My currency is no longer of any value in the country they call their lives. I have a heart full of currency that I can't use because they won't take it. I realize it is my fault. It is so painful to learn such a lesson, but it is a lesson I had to learn. I did this when I was young, dumb and headstrong. I thought I knew it all. I thought I had all of the answer. I thought all of my bullshit excuses were enough to keep them in my corner. They wised up and kicked me to the curb. It was years before I realized the damage I had them and to myself.

How much talking and pleading and asking and explaining can I do? If you don't see it, then you don't see it. What else can I do? You can't tell me you love me so deeply, yet get angry everytime I say "let's spend time together." Then when you run down you life agenda and I am not on it and I complain, you treat me like I HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG. How dare I disrupt YOUR LIFE, with my needs and wants and my desires for you TO TREAT ME LIKE YOU LOVE ME?

In my years of living, growing and forming, there are things I know for sure. I am a damn good SON, an awesome BROTHER, and incredible FATHER, a spectacular GODFATHER and a magnificent UNCLE. I know this, because I have worked HARD to be those things. YES, IT TOOK WORK TO BE THOSE THINGS. Son, Brother, Father, Godfather and Uncle are only titles and words....IT IS THE ACTION BEHIND THOSE WORDS THAT MAKE THE DIFFERENCE. IT IS THE ACTION BEHIND THOSE WORDS THAT CHANGE THOSE WORDS to CLINT(son), BUBBA(brother), DADDY(father), BOO BOO(godfather) AND UNC(uncle). There is WORK behind those names. WORK THAT IS WORTH THE WORK.

But at the end of the day, no matter which one you call me know this. I am all of those names wrapped in one name.....ALVIN.

So if you are my Brother, my Sister, my Daddy, my Mama, my Baby, my Monkey, my Bookie, my Moe Moe, my Neffie or my Niecey, or even my EARNED that place in my heart because of the WORK that went into the action we call LOVE. But the work it took to get there, is the same WORK it takes to stay there. Don't take me or take LOVE for granted. Life changes in the blink of an eye. What you have today, you can lose TODAY if you don't cherish it for what it is.

GOD IS LOVE! If we are a reflection of him, WE ARE LOVE. God tells us that He loves us and he SHOWS us He loves us. IF YOU ARE A REFLECTION OF HIM....CAN YOU SAY THE SAME. Stop saying it....SHOW IT. Time to take off your cracked glasses and see clearer. Step from behind your dsysfunction and walk into RELATIONSHIP. Life is so much more.

This is still so true. You are ONE, yet you are many. Take the things that you learned in 2010 and apply them to your life in 2011. Let a challenging year cause you to STEP UP TO THE CHALLENGE! I have a great deal that I am going to do this year. We gonna be BIG like JUPITER!!   WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Here is to the first of many great conversations to come! I look forward to talking to you all.

Sharpen your Edge and your life won't be dull!

I am
The Sharp One