Reflections of the 39th Year

I have achieved a milestone in my life. I am now 40 years
old. This has been a long road to get to this place and I am THANKFUL. I am
thankful to God for keeping me all of this time to get to a place that some did
not see. I thank Him for keeping me sane during times in my life when I truly
felt that I was going insane and wanted to kill myself.  I thank Him for courage and strength to keep
moving forward, even during the dark times when all I really wanted to do was
huddle in a corner and cower from the world.

People do not understand all that I went through to get to
this point in my life.  My existence on
this planet has been riddled with things that emotionally and mentally I just
knew would devour me. I remember vividly being in my room lying in my bed as a
teenager trying to sleep the pain away, only to wake up and feel worse than I
did before and cry for hours, suffering in silence by myself.  I remember feeling so alone that I thought
that if I was to no longer exist, the world wouldn’t have cared.

MY…how times have changed.

The 39th year of my existence brought me to a
place that I never dreamed I would be. For the first time in my life, as I
enter the world of 40, I feel GREAT about who I am and who God has called me to
be. I realize that I went through all of those things for a reason and that
reason was to shape and make me into the being that I am now.  I have learned and embraced the following:

1. I AM A SPIRITUAL BEING WITH SPIRITUAL GIFTS
   HAVING A HUMAN EXPERIENCE…NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

1. I am not nor have I EVER been what other people
   said, thought or wanted me to be. I am the ME that God created ME to be.

1. The enemy worked overtime to keep me believing
   that I wasn’t worthy or that I was less than other people so that I wouldn’t
   realize my full potential.

1. What other people think of me is NOWHERE NEAR AS
   IMPORTANT as what I think about myself.

1. I am responsible for my life and my choices.

1. I cannot make someone be more than they are
   willing to be, and I always have the option to say “ENOUGH! I AM DONE”.

1. Chronology is not a factor in the life of a
   believer. God can use anyone, at any age, at any time, for ANY purpose He deems
   fit.

1. Life is but a VAPOR and can be gone in an
   instant; therefore, I cannot waste time grieving over things or people that
   hurt me or won’t change. I spent a good portion of my life being the aggressor
   and trying to get others to see this, but to no avail. I have now realized that
   it’s not my job.

1. People can and only will do what you ALLOW.

1. It is truly a gift and blessing to get older. My
   grandmother turned 89 on September 19th. My father (R.I.P. Daddy)
   passed at the age of only 67.  I don’t
   know if longevity is on my agenda, but I do know that no matter what, I will
   NEVER complain about seeing another year of my life.

1. Laughter is GREAT. No one can explain it….and
   that’s what makes it GREAT.

1. I no longer am looking for anyone to MAKE me
   happy, because people cannot MAKE you happy.

1. My life matters to God and it matters to others.
   It always has and it always will.

1. God’s FAVOR is better than MONEY any day of the
   week. Favor can supply things that money can’t buy.

1. I am a LIVING, BREATHING, WALKING Testimony!!

Did you recognize that all of the things are #1?? LOL
Depending on the day/month, all of these were #1 at some point. :-)
I have gotten to this point in my life only by the GRACE and
LOVE of God! I don’t know what the year of 40 holds for me, but I do know that
I am walking into 40 with a new confidence, a new conviction, a new determination,
a new focus, a new outlook with new opportunities, new challenges and a renewed
sense of purpose…as a NEW ME!

I celebrate the NEW ME and I hope that through my discovery and testimony that it leads to some of you discovering a NEW YOU.  My goal in my life is to change lives for the positive in any way that I can.  What about you?

Until next time....

Sharpen your EDGE and your LIFE will never be DULL

I am
The Sharp One

I am on the EDGE!!

I am sitting here on the edge....not the proverbial "edge" (as I will explain later).  I am on the edge of a lot of things.
- I am on the edge of the last days of being 39
- I am on the edge of the new age of 40
- I am on the edge of a new business venture
- I am on the edge of a new endeavor
- I am on the edge of GLORY and GREATNESS
This is so exciting...yet, it is unnerving.

Being on the EDGE is a very precarious place to be. You are not really sure of your footing and you don't really have a home; you are perched in such a way that you have a bird's eye view of things that from your visual perspective should be beautiful and breathtaking, but because of your physical footing and position are scary and unknown. Do you understand what I mean? Most people that say that "I am on the edge" refer to themselves as about to break emotionally or snap mentally; believe me when I say that I have been on THAT edge too and even being on that edge, the same things apply.

I had a talk with a friend today that made me realize that I was on the edge of all of these things and while that was an eye-opener for me, it was also a slap of reality right to my face. For you see, I realized that I am on the edge of all of this, but I am NOT MAKING ANY MOVES OR TAKING ANY STEPS BECAUSE I AM AFRAID THAT I AM GOING TO FALL OFF THE EDGE. This was indeed an "A-HA moment" for me. Here is why:


- I am on the edge of the last days of being 39, but if I move I will be in my 40s and maybe that's "old" and I don't want to lose my perceived youth; does that mean that I am too old to do some of the things I like to do, wear what I want to wear, etc. Shouldn't 40 "look" and "be" a certain way??? I ain't ready for that.

- I am on the edge of the new age of 40 but if I move can I really embrace that I am not getting any younger and that I now look at my life with a new vibrancy, yet with the knowledge and the tangibility of my own mortality?? How much longer do I have to live? Do I have regrets? What should I have done or didn't do when I was younger?? How the hell did I even MAKE IT to 40??

- I am on the edge of a new business venture but if I move and make this venture a reality, suppose it fails??? While all of this is in my head, it can be whatever I want it to be, but when I make it REAL, it can fail and I can fall short and I don't wanna fall or fail!!

- I am on the edge of a new endeavor but if I move can I handle the time that is necessary to put into a new endeavor and what will this mean for my future??

- I am on the edge of GLORY and GREATNESS but if I move will I do the right thing?? For that matter, WHO AM I to even be worthy of greatness? Why did God give me all of this to do? Am I equipped to do all that He has placed inside of me?

Yes readers, I AM ON THE EDGE. I am nervous, excited, bold, afraid, optimistic, pessimistic, strong, weak, fortified, fragile....I am all of these things AT ONCE. I am on the EDGE and I have been afraid to make a move. But NO MORE. I am on the EDGE and there is no sure ground. No sure footing. No guarantees. No safety net. I am on the EDGE.

There is no safe road. No map. No guide. No precedent. Just me, God, a wall against my back, the EDGE that I am standing on and the open space beneath me. That wide open space is OPPORTUNITY. It's BLESSING. It's FAVOR. It's PROVISION. It's PROSPERITY. It's HOPE. It's FAITH. It's LOVE. It's GOD.

Yes....I AM ON THE EDGE OF GREATNESS and it is MINE for the taking. So, for me, there is only one thing left for me to do.....


JUMP!!!


Sharpen you Edge and your life will NEVER be dull!

I am,

The Sharp One

If I Died Tonight....

Hello Everyone,
Today is the one year anniversary of my Daddy's transition to Glory with God. Things like that makes a person think and reflect on life and the after life. I wrote this and I wanted to share it with everyone. I want to be authentic and transparent. God Bless you all. I hope that this touches you and makes you also reflect and realize that life is precious and shouldn't be taken for granted, nor should the people around you be taken for granted.

IF I DIED TONIGHT.....

If I died tonight,
what would be left unsaid?


What would remain silent
if I laid down and never again lifted my head?


Would people know what I went through
and how I felt about things?


Or would I leave them in despair, confused and wondering?


I think about my life and death almost constantly,


As I get older I wonder what will be the end I’ll see.


What will happen to the ones that I will leave behind?


How will their lives carry on when I reach the end of mine?


Will Da Babyknow that I loved him and that my life was made complete, the first time that
he called me “Daddy” or when he used to rub my feet?
Will he know that having him as a son was the thing I truly cherished most
and that the love I feel for him will live forever…even when I am a ghost?
Will he know that he made me grow up and be a true man
and be the father that God called me to be and be there to hold his hand?
Be his true example of what being a real man is all about,
the same way my beloved father did for me without a shadow of a doubt.


If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?


What would remain silent if I laid down and never again lifted my head?


Will Da Monkey know that being my son changed my entire life around?
Will he know that saying “Daddy” to me was an incredible and loving sound?
Will he know that being my youngest son has brought me so much joy
and that without question I loved him astoundingly because he was my baby boy?
Would he know I loved to hear him laugh and talk to him all the time
and that I knew he was destined for greatness because he is truly one of a kind.


If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?


What would remain silent if I laid down and never again lifted my head?


Would my Bookie, my Boo, my Geo, my Sugarbear and my Puffs know just how much I cared?
Would my Moe Moe know that I pray for him all the time simply because I was scared,
that he will turn into this cold hearted thug and lose his life to the
street. Will he know that I really wanted the best for him regardless what he felt about me?
And what about the godchild Liquey that I didn’t get the chance to know.
Will her father tell her about me? I assume the answer would be no.
Would all of my godchildren know that I loved them as if they were my own
and that the last thing that I ever wanted was to leave my babies here alone.


If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?


What would remain silent if I laid down and never again lifted my head?


Would all of my sisters know that sometimes I just wanted to break down and scream
and tell them that I love them so much I was bursting at the seams?
Would they know that I am proud of them and that I bragged on all of them constantly
and without them I really don’t know where I would be?


If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?


What would remain silent if I laid down and never again lifted my head?


Would Brother, Tony and Chris know how much I used to pray
that God would see fit to give me a brother one day;
and the day God gave me them was truly a blessing from above
and that they made me understand the true meaning of brotherly love.
Would they know that even though they’re older, I was always their big brother
standing in protective mode ready to defend them from all others.


If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?


What would remain silent if I laid down and never again lifted my head?


What would all of my nieces and nephews think that I thought about them?
Would they know that they gave my life meaning and how much I truly adore them?
Would BJ know that Uncle Clint loved him from the day of his birth
and that he meant the world to me while I was on this earth?
Will the others know that I loved them and that DNA is a lie,
because when it comes to true love DNA stands for DOES NOT APPLY?
We may not have shared blood but that really didn’t matter.
When you say “Unc” I bow my head. I am honored and I’m flattered.


If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?


What would remain silent if I laid down and never again lifted my head?


Would
everyone I left behind, know that all I really wanted to do, was be the best
man that I could be and I tried my best to be true. I tried to be forgiving and
loving and true blue. I tried to be honest, to be caring and authentic too. I
tried my damndest at all times, but there were times I missed the mark and I
made the wrong the decisions, but I still had a good heart. I really just
wanted to get it right and be the best that I could be and be the man that God
had forged and called me to be. Would they know that I lived for others and that
I did that willingly, not for glory or for recognition but because it was just
the right thing.


I know that
it’s inevitable. I am not really afraid to die,


because “dying”
would mean going to see my daddy in Glory on high.


But I got so much living to do, I have so much more to say
before I close my eyes and go to
Heaven one day.


But, If I died tonight, what would be left unsaid?


What would remain silent
if I laid down and never again lifted my head?

You are an ELECTRICAL STORM!

HELLO EVERYONE:

I haven't been here for a minute but I have so much to talk about today. I hope this finds you well and after reading this you realize just how POWERFUL you truly are!!

I watched the last Oprah show today. I wanted to see how she would end things and how she would bring this chapter of her life to a close. I really got more than I bargained for.  For 50 minutes, Oprah basically taught, preached and inspired in a way that I had never seen her do.  I left that experience with tears in my eyes and feeling more in charge of my life and more inspired than I have EVER felt before.  Her moving to a new chapter in her life made me realize that I was doing the same thing and didn’t really acknowledge it that way.  This is a new chapter for me too.

Something she said got under my skin really deep.  She said one of her guests said to her “You are responsible for your own energy”.  That hit me like a ton of bricks and I had an “A HA moment”. My entire life I have been able to sense energy and auras of others but I didn’t know what I was feeling and what I was experiencing; I understand now that this is a gift from God.  For YEARS I let people rob me of my energy and make me feel like I was less than and good for nothing. I felt like such a misfit and I thought something was wrong with me. I dismissed what I felt as just me being over emotional or sometimes just plain crazy. I wouldn't tell people what I felt and just came to the conclusion that everyone else was right about me and I was wrong. That is what low self esteem will do to you.  I wasted so much time GIVING energy to things and people that didn’t mean my energy any good.  I realize now this crucial thing:

PEOPLE WERE SO BUSY TELLING ME WHO I WASN’T, BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T WANT ME TO KNOW WHO I  WAS;  IF I NEVER FIGURED OUT WHO I WAS, THEY COULD CONTROL ME AND MAKE ME BE LESS THAN THEY WERE.

What a POWERFUL revelation for me!  I knew there were people that meant me harm and went out of their way to hurt me. That was by design, because if I realized that I WAS GREAT, they would realize THEY WERE NOT!  But now I know the truth; now I know what I was feeling and dealing with. I WASN’T A MISFIT AFTER ALL. I am not the names they call me. I am not the worthless person that they made me believe I was.  I DO have gifts. I DO have talent. I DO have an anointing. I DO have a calling. I DO have a purpose.  I DO sense positive and negative energy. Guess what my friend?  SO DO YOU!  Someone reading this has felt the same way. Energy transference is REAL. 

I had a Reiki treatment a few months ago. The definition of Reiki is:

“A Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by "laying on hands" and is based on the idea that an unseen "life force energy" flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one's "life force energy" is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy.  The word Reiki is made of two Japanese words - Rei which means "God's Wisdom or the Higher Power" and Ki which is "life force energy". So Reiki is actually "spiritually guided life force energy."

This was BETTER than ANY massage that I have EVER had in my life. She manipulated my energy field and she NOT ONCE put her hands on me. The whole experience took 45 minutes. When she finished, I was so relaxed, at peace and exhausted, you would think I had played a contact sport. All I wanted to do was go home and PRAY and then go to sleep. It was AWESOME. I would encourage you to have a Reiki session; you will know after that that energy is REAL and PRESENT. (If you need a referral to the place I go, just ask me and I will be more than happy to give you one).  I say all of that to say this; you cannot allow everyone to transfer energy to you and you shouldn’t give your energy to everyone. That energy is a force that God has given us and through our spirit selves, we can use this energy to sense things around us and DISCERN things. This energy is unique to each of us and is truly a gift from God.  When was the last time that you felt that someone you were around was “negative”, yet they hadn’t done anything to you or said anything to you? Then you find out that you were right.  That is discernment of the Spirit and that discernment filters through that energy. 
GOD CREATED US ALL TO BE WONDERFUL, POWERFUL AND UNIQUE. Embrace your POWER and your UNIQUENESS. KNOW THAT GOD IS LOVE IS GOD!  
Until next time
Sharpen your Edge and your LIFE will never be DULL!
I am
The Sharp One

Do a 180 to achieve a 360

This week and especially today, I have been battling my demons and my emotions. I really don't know where it all came from, but I realized today that I have to look myself in the face and get in touch with my pain in order to find my peace.

My entire life (up until about 5 years ago) I battled low self esteem. Yes, ME! When I tell people that, they find it hard to believe but it is so so true! I have to come clean so that I can continue to heal, but so that others can read my testimony and heal too.

I never thought that I was good enough. I had a lot of pressure on me at a young age to be the best at everything I do. I was identified as gifted when I was very young. That was a blessing and a curse at the same time. My mother expected and wanted a lot out of me, but she didn't really know how to motivate me to be the person that she thought I could be. Instead, I think her brand of motivation had the opposite effect. She wasn't abusive to me, but she was hard on me. She thought that comparing me to others would make me want to achieve, but it didn't. It made me resentful, which then made me lazy and uncaring. While I was battling that, I was also battling the fact that I was unattractive. I was very slim and people would always comment on it. It was so painful to go to school and hear all of the things that people would sometimes say. I was bullied in the 3^rd grade and then again tormented in the 6^th grade. By the time I reached Middle school, I was emotionally and mentally a train wreck. I was suffering in silence because I didn't want people to think I was weak. I didn't want people to know that I had weaknesses. That was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. When I got to High School, I was just mentally and emotionally unhealthy, but no one knew. I kept everything bottled up inside of me and kept people at arm's length. I felt ugly and unappealing to girls; in fact, I couldn't get a girl to even look my way, much less want to date me. People called me names and I believed what they called me. I became what they called me because I chose to believe I was weak and vulnerable. Life was hell.

I remember feeling like I wanted to kill myself. I could never bring myself to do it, but I contemplated suicide more times than I care to remember. I wrote the note but didn't have the guts to leave it. I wasn't even good at plotting to kill myself. What a waste of space I was. I plodded on and just really went through the motions of life until I graduated and went to college.

Now, the most amazing thing about all of this is that I had friends (lots of them), family that loved me and by Senior year I was THE most popular person in the entire school. It was great…but at the same time, it meant absolutely nothing. Nothing means NOTHING if you don't love yourself. I was in the greatest moment of my life, having the worst time of my life.

It wasn't until I learned that I was worth something because God made me to be SOMEBODY, that my life started to change. A couple of years ago, I took a hiatus from everything and everyone so that I could focus on God and focus on myself. It was during the month of February 2009. When March came, I was a NEW person. BRAND NEW!! What was on the INSIDE was now starting to be reflected on the OUTSIDE. I had to do a 180 (turning in the opposite direction of my pain and problems) to do a 360 (coming full circle to understand that my life is great and the best is yet to come).

I will continue this series in future blogs. I have so much more about me that I want to share and need to share. I will leave you with a poem I wrote in April of 2010 that captures all that I went through to become the man I am today. It is entitled:

 

"THE BETTERFLY"

February 09 a caterpillar went missing

Worn, busted and disgusted...tired of just existing.

Had to be alone with God so that He could reveal

all my hurts on the inside. It was time to heal.

Time to let go of all the pain that I've traveled with all these years.

All the hurt, all the fear, all the doubt, all the tears.

Time for a new man to emerge with purpose and drive;

with new determination and a new fire inside.

Time to stop dressing up the OUTSIDE to make my inside SEEM cool,

realizing I have been living my life backwards. What a fool. What a fool!

Cuz you see change, REAL CHANGE is from the INSIDE OUT.

Change your heart and your body follows. That's what I'm shouting about.

See, you haven't walked not one mile in my worn out shoes

nor lived one damn moment of my blues.

And you haven't sung not one note of my song...

It's by God's grace and His mercy that I've made it this long.

So I entered my Chrysalis and for28 straight days I let God shape my being

I was truly AMAZED.

Good bye to old hurts. Good bye to old pain.

Good bye to old friends.

Good bye to my old name.

No longer will this caterpillar walk with his head hanging down

just trying to survive scurrying aimlessly on the ground.

28 days of Revelation, 28 days of Reflection,

28 days of Meditation, 28 days of Introspection.

28 days that felt like 28 years, but on the 28th day a beam of light appeared.

With new strength and determination, I push and I twist.

I discover something miraculous is happening as I emerge from my Chrysalis.

I am not the same person I was when I went in.

Something is very different and I feel it WITHIN.

Alvin Fowlkes, the caterpillar that went into hiding had to DIE,

now I emerge ALVIN FOWLKES, the MONARCH BETTERFLY.

I am now a MONARCH. That means I reign SUPREME.

And I am AWESOME, I crush my haters like a Jelly bean.

I was kinda fly before, but I'm a BETTER FLY now

because now I know who I am and ain't no stopping me now.

I have no peers...yes that means I'm PEERLESS!

I have no fears....but I wouldn't say that I'm FEARLESS,

but I do FEAR LESS than I did before. My fear now motivates me to do SO MUCH MORE!!!

I have the heart of a lion and the strength of 100 men

and the courage of those same 100 times 10.

Yes, I am a BETTERFLY...better than before

and with these wings I BETTER FLY cuz God's got so much in store.

And I am ready for it all so I am about to take flight.

There no need to be afraid. I am headed toward the light.

And when I fly, I fly high....higher than anything can.

Higher than any bird, any plane, ANY man!

See when you fly this high, you don't have to look around.

When you the dopest thing in the sky, there is no need to look down.

So now just look up and you will see me streaking across the sky

into the bright sunlight....ALVIN FOWLKES, THE MONARCH BETTERFLY!!!!

 

 

Until next time….SHARPEN YOUR EDGE and your life will NEVER be DULL!

I am

The Sharp One

It’s Only a Test

I have a very dear friend who is in the midst of a battle; a battle for their soul and a battle for their sanity. My friend is very independent, strong, capable and determined, yet my friend feels helpless and confused at this time in their life. For my friend, this is out of the norm. See, my friend is very used to having all of the answers and making rational decisions. My friend is very educated (has a Ph.D.), very accomplished and highly intelligent; however the battle that my friend is going through has them stumped. My friend is attractive on the outside and inside to the opposite sex, outgoing, well spoken, well traveled and well versed; yet my friend can't seem to understand why they are going through this time.
How many times have you ever felt like this? Your life was just about to be on track and all of a sudden, something comes through and derails your thoughts and your emotions quicker than you can blink your eyes. Once you were cool, calm and collected, but that has now been replaced with fear, anger, anxiety and frustration. How could this be happening? Why is this happening? I am here to tell you. IT'S ONLY A TEST!
Every now and again, I believe God allows tests in our lives. Tests serves a few purposes; one purpose is to see how much we have learned and retained during our time of study; another purpose is to see how prepared we are to go to the next level. If we fall short in any of those categories, the results serve as a reminder that we still need preparation or that we are not yet ready to progress to the next level. That in and of itself can be frustrating; especially when we truly believe that we are ready for the next level. The truth is that sometimes the student has no clue if he or she is ready to progress; only the teacher who gives the test can evaluate the readiness of the student. In life, that teacher for us is God. When God gives us a test, we sometimes gripe and grumble because we aren't prepared properly for the test, or we simply don't want to take the test. Sometimes God will even give us a POP QUIZ just to see if we are paying attention in class. Other times, we know that the test is coming and yet we still choose not to study or prepare.
In my friend's case, this is a pop quiz. Out of the blue, the test came and my friend stands bewildered wondering why they are being tested. The answer is because it is time to move to the next level on ALL LEVELS. Mentally, emotionally, physically, financially…a breakthrough is inevitable; however, this test is necessary so that success is achieved on the next level. The test is a sign that PROMOTION is about to take place. The test is a sign that the NEXT LEVEL is in sight. Don't be upset with the test. Embrace the fact that the test is here because it means that you are about to be elevated. Your goal now is to pass the test. In life the only way to do that is to PRAY, LISTEN and ENDURE. Endurance is the key to completing the test and not throwing in the towel in haste.
Late 2009 and all of 2010, I was tested. It was the worst time of my life and I dealt with some of the most difficult things I could have imagined; paramount of all these things was the passing of my father. Do I still miss him? Absolutely. Every day, I think about him and I ache a little inside, but each day it gets a little easier. I will never fully recover from losing my daddy. I will always have emptiness in me that will gnaw at me forever, but each day I handle that pain a little better. I had other trials that surrounded me during this time, but 2010 is over, 2011 has begun, this phase of testing in my life is completed and I am looking at my report card. I got an A!!! I AM READY FOR PROMOTION….ARE YOU?
SHARPEN YOUR EDGE AND YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER BE DULL
Until next time,
I am
The Sharp One

SUPERMAN Syndrome

I suffer from an ailment that I have named “Superman Syndrome”.  It is a disease that most people don’t even realize that they suffer from, but if left untreated, it can cause sleeplessness, anxiety, mood swings, frustration, and physical illness and in rare cases….DEATH.  Let me explain to you what Superman Syndrome is and maybe you can see if you suffer from it too.

I am a caregiver and a nurturer; I have been my entire life. I have always felt the need to care for others and try to be there for other people.  People seek me out for advice, knowledge and wisdom and I am more than happy to oblige them.  It is very gratifying when people look up to you enough to want to hear what you have to say and what you think.  That’s the good news. Here’s the drawback.  When I myself am in need of someone’s guidance and advice, I don’t get reciprocal treatment from the people that I help; no one is there for me to help me to navigate through my issues and problems. It is not only frustrating, but it is extremely painful. How come the people that I listen to won’t listen to me? How come they won’t help me?  This made me resentful and bitter towards those people.

As I grew and matured, I realized that the fault really didn’t lie with the people that weren’t listening to me, but it actually was on ME. I know that doesn’t make sense, but that is part of the syndrome. Let me break it down like this: We all know who Superman is and what he was sent from his home planet to do here on Earth; Superman is the protector of the weaker and the savior of down trodden. He swoops in and saves people and takes them out of harm’s way. That is his job. That is his mission. However, when Superman himself is in trouble and needs help, can he realistically rely on the SAME PEOPLE THAT HE SAVES to save him???

NO!

WHY?

Superman’s personal problems, battles and fights are much, much bigger than the people that he saves; therefore, the people that he saves are NOT equipped to save him or help him. THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO. So who saves Superman???  The answer is other HEROES that are equipped and ready to handle problems and situations on that level that Superman is used to dealing with alone. Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, and Green Lantern etc. are all powerful and are equipped to help someone like Superman. The average townsperson is nowhere near equipped for such a battle.  Can Superman fault them for that? Certainly not.

Now let’s look at our lives. Constantly we may help people, but when we are in need, we expect those same people to help us. The problem is that they may not be equipped to help us. That is not their fault. It is not your fault. That is the way that it is. Therefore, we need to seek help from people that are truly equipped to help us. The problem is because you are SUPERMAN; you may not feel that it is right for you to ask for help. After all….YOU ARE SUPERMAN AND SUPERMAN DOESN’T NEED HELP, RIGHT? 

WRONG?

The bottom line is we all need help at times, but we may be turning to the wrong people for help. God puts people in our lives that are ready and have the provisions to help us, but we may be too embarrassed, proud or stubborn to ask because we are so used to solving problems for others. I had to learn that I had to HUMBLE myself, swallow my PRIDE and ask people to help me; people that were EQUIPPED to help me with my struggles. I had to learn that the same people that confide in me, may not be the people that I can confide in NO MATTER HOW MUCH I MAY LOVE THEM. This is not about love. I can love them and care for them without looking to them for help and that is perfectly okay.  I have to know that however, when I do need that help, I can turn to people that may be SMARTER, WISER, MORE EXPERIENCED, RICHER OR MORE POWERFUL THAN ME.  That too is JUST FINE.  God did not put us here to do everything by ourselves. People are here to help each other. Why not take the chance and allow for the help.

The other part of the syndrome is understanding that as powerful as you are, YOU CANNOT HELP OR SAVE EVERYONE. You also cannot feel guilty or defeated because of this. WE ARE HUMAN. We are going to let other people down as well as let ourselves down. The key is to forgive ourselves and keep moving forward.

Now….

DO YOU OR A LOVED ONE SUFFER FROM SUPERMAN SYNDROME?  IF YOU DO…THERE IS HOPE.

The first step lies in you. Recognize that you have the disease and start treating it IMMEDIATELY

1.       Stop trying to solve everybody’s problems.

2.       Stop looking for the people you help to always help you.

3.       Start looking toward people that may be stronger than you and find strength to ask for help, trust and confide in them.

4.       Look in the mirror and say “I AM NOT SUPERMAN”

5.       REPEAT STEPS 1-4 AS OFTEN AS NECESSARY UNTIL YOU ARE RECOVERING.

There is no cure for this syndrome. If you are a nurture/caregiver type, then that is who you are; however, you can find the strength within to know when you can’t help anyone if you don’t first help yourself.

Make sense?  I hope so.

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I Am

The Sharp One