old. This has been a long road to get to this place and I am THANKFUL. I am
thankful to God for keeping me all of this time to get to a place that some did
not see. I thank Him for keeping me sane during times in my life when I truly
felt that I was going insane and wanted to kill myself. I thank Him for courage and strength to keep
moving forward, even during the dark times when all I really wanted to do was
huddle in a corner and cower from the world.
People do not understand all that I went through to get to
this point in my life. My existence on
this planet has been riddled with things that emotionally and mentally I just
knew would devour me. I remember vividly being in my room lying in my bed as a
teenager trying to sleep the pain away, only to wake up and feel worse than I
did before and cry for hours, suffering in silence by myself. I remember feeling so alone that I thought
that if I was to no longer exist, the world wouldn’t have cared.
MY…how times have changed.
The 39th year of my existence brought me to a
place that I never dreamed I would be. For the first time in my life, as I
enter the world of 40, I feel GREAT about who I am and who God has called me to
be. I realize that I went through all of those things for a reason and that
reason was to shape and make me into the being that I am now. I have learned and embraced the following:
- I AM A SPIRITUAL BEING WITH SPIRITUAL GIFTS
HAVING A HUMAN EXPERIENCE…NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
- I am not nor have I EVER been what other people
said, thought or wanted me to be. I am the ME that God created ME to be.
- The enemy worked overtime to keep me believing
that I wasn’t worthy or that I was less than other people so that I wouldn’t
realize my full potential.
- What other people think of me is NOWHERE NEAR AS
IMPORTANT as what I think about myself.
- I am responsible for my life and my choices.
- I cannot make someone be more than they are
willing to be, and I always have the option to say “ENOUGH! I AM DONE”.
- Chronology is not a factor in the life of a
believer. God can use anyone, at any age, at any time, for ANY purpose He deems
fit.
- Life is but a VAPOR and can be gone in an
instant; therefore, I cannot waste time grieving over things or people that
hurt me or won’t change. I spent a good portion of my life being the aggressor
and trying to get others to see this, but to no avail. I have now realized that
it’s not my job.
- People can and only will do what you ALLOW.
- It is truly a gift and blessing to get older. My
grandmother turned 89 on September 19th. My father (R.I.P. Daddy)
passed at the age of only 67. I don’t
know if longevity is on my agenda, but I do know that no matter what, I will
NEVER complain about seeing another year of my life.
- Laughter is GREAT. No one can explain it….and
that’s what makes it GREAT.
- I no longer am looking for anyone to MAKE me
happy, because people cannot MAKE you happy.
- My life matters to God and it matters to others.
It always has and it always will.
- God’s FAVOR is better than MONEY any day of the
week. Favor can supply things that money can’t buy.
- I am a LIVING, BREATHING, WALKING Testimony!!
Did you recognize that all of the things are #1?? LOL
Depending on the day/month, all of these were #1 at some point. :-)
I have gotten to this point in my life only by the GRACE and
LOVE of God! I don’t know what the year of 40 holds for me, but I do know that
I am walking into 40 with a new confidence, a new conviction, a new determination,
a new focus, a new outlook with new opportunities, new challenges and a renewed
sense of purpose…as a NEW ME!
I celebrate the NEW ME and I hope that through my discovery and testimony that it leads to some of you discovering a NEW YOU. My goal in my life is to change lives for the positive in any way that I can. What about you?
Until next time....
Sharpen your EDGE and your LIFE will never be DULL
I am
The Sharp One