I am sitting here on the edge....not the proverbial "edge" (as I will explain later). I am on the edge of a lot of things.
- I am on the edge of the last days of being 39
- I am on the edge of the new age of 40
- I am on the edge of a new business venture
- I am on the edge of a new endeavor
- I am on the edge of GLORY and GREATNESS
This is so exciting...yet, it is unnerving.
Being on the EDGE is a very precarious place to be. You are not really sure of your footing and you don't really have a home; you are perched in such a way that you have a bird's eye view of things that from your visual perspective should be beautiful and breathtaking, but because of your physical footing and position are scary and unknown. Do you understand what I mean? Most people that say that "I am on the edge" refer to themselves as about to break emotionally or snap mentally; believe me when I say that I have been on THAT edge too and even being on that edge, the same things apply.
I had a talk with a friend today that made me realize that I was on the edge of all of these things and while that was an eye-opener for me, it was also a slap of reality right to my face. For you see, I realized that I am on the edge of all of this, but I am NOT MAKING ANY MOVES OR TAKING ANY STEPS BECAUSE I AM AFRAID THAT I AM GOING TO FALL OFF THE EDGE. This was indeed an "A-HA moment" for me. Here is why:
- I am on the edge of the last days of being 39, but if I move I will be in my 40s and maybe that's "old" and I don't want to lose my perceived youth; does that mean that I am too old to do some of the things I like to do, wear what I want to wear, etc. Shouldn't 40 "look" and "be" a certain way??? I ain't ready for that.
- I am on the edge of the new age of 40 but if I move can I really embrace that I am not getting any younger and that I now look at my life with a new vibrancy, yet with the knowledge and the tangibility of my own mortality?? How much longer do I have to live? Do I have regrets? What should I have done or didn't do when I was younger?? How the hell did I even MAKE IT to 40??
- I am on the edge of a new business venture but if I move and make this venture a reality, suppose it fails??? While all of this is in my head, it can be whatever I want it to be, but when I make it REAL, it can fail and I can fall short and I don't wanna fall or fail!!
- I am on the edge of a new endeavor but if I move can I handle the time that is necessary to put into a new endeavor and what will this mean for my future??
- I am on the edge of GLORY and GREATNESS but if I move will I do the right thing?? For that matter, WHO AM I to even be worthy of greatness? Why did God give me all of this to do? Am I equipped to do all that He has placed inside of me?
Yes readers, I AM ON THE EDGE. I am nervous, excited, bold, afraid, optimistic, pessimistic, strong, weak, fortified, fragile....I am all of these things AT ONCE. I am on the EDGE and I have been afraid to make a move. But NO MORE. I am on the EDGE and there is no sure ground. No sure footing. No guarantees. No safety net. I am on the EDGE.
There is no safe road. No map. No guide. No precedent. Just me, God, a wall against my back, the EDGE that I am standing on and the open space beneath me. That wide open space is OPPORTUNITY. It's BLESSING. It's FAVOR. It's PROVISION. It's PROSPERITY. It's HOPE. It's FAITH. It's LOVE. It's GOD.
Yes....I AM ON THE EDGE OF GREATNESS and it is MINE for the taking. So, for me, there is only one thing left for me to do.....
Sharpen you Edge and your life will NEVER be dull!
The Sharp One