Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Reflections of the 39th Year

I have achieved a milestone in my life. I am now 40 years
old. This has been a long road to get to this place and I am THANKFUL. I am
thankful to God for keeping me all of this time to get to a place that some did
not see. I thank Him for keeping me sane during times in my life when I truly
felt that I was going insane and wanted to kill myself.  I thank Him for courage and strength to keep
moving forward, even during the dark times when all I really wanted to do was
huddle in a corner and cower from the world.

People do not understand all that I went through to get to
this point in my life.  My existence on
this planet has been riddled with things that emotionally and mentally I just
knew would devour me. I remember vividly being in my room lying in my bed as a
teenager trying to sleep the pain away, only to wake up and feel worse than I
did before and cry for hours, suffering in silence by myself.  I remember feeling so alone that I thought
that if I was to no longer exist, the world wouldn’t have cared.

MY…how times have changed.

The 39th year of my existence brought me to a
place that I never dreamed I would be. For the first time in my life, as I
enter the world of 40, I feel GREAT about who I am and who God has called me to
be. I realize that I went through all of those things for a reason and that
reason was to shape and make me into the being that I am now.  I have learned and embraced the following:

  1. I AM A SPIRITUAL BEING WITH SPIRITUAL GIFTS
    HAVING A HUMAN EXPERIENCE…NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

  1. I am not nor have I EVER been what other people
    said, thought or wanted me to be. I am the ME that God created ME to be.

  1. The enemy worked overtime to keep me believing
    that I wasn’t worthy or that I was less than other people so that I wouldn’t
    realize my full potential.

  1. What other people think of me is NOWHERE NEAR AS
    IMPORTANT as what I think about myself.

  1. I am responsible for my life and my choices.

  1. I cannot make someone be more than they are
    willing to be, and I always have the option to say “ENOUGH! I AM DONE”.

  1. Chronology is not a factor in the life of a
    believer. God can use anyone, at any age, at any time, for ANY purpose He deems
    fit.

  1. Life is but a VAPOR and can be gone in an
    instant; therefore, I cannot waste time grieving over things or people that
    hurt me or won’t change. I spent a good portion of my life being the aggressor
    and trying to get others to see this, but to no avail. I have now realized that
    it’s not my job.

  1. People can and only will do what you ALLOW.

  1. It is truly a gift and blessing to get older. My
    grandmother turned 89 on September 19th. My father (R.I.P. Daddy)
    passed at the age of only 67.  I don’t
    know if longevity is on my agenda, but I do know that no matter what, I will
    NEVER complain about seeing another year of my life.

  1. Laughter is GREAT. No one can explain it….and
    that’s what makes it GREAT.

  1. I no longer am looking for anyone to MAKE me
    happy, because people cannot MAKE you happy.

  1. My life matters to God and it matters to others.
    It always has and it always will.

  1. God’s FAVOR is better than MONEY any day of the
    week. Favor can supply things that money can’t buy.

  1. I am a LIVING, BREATHING, WALKING Testimony!!

Did you recognize that all of the things are #1?? LOL
Depending on the day/month, all of these were #1 at some point. :-)
I have gotten to this point in my life only by the GRACE and
LOVE of God! I don’t know what the year of 40 holds for me, but I do know that
I am walking into 40 with a new confidence, a new conviction, a new determination,
a new focus, a new outlook with new opportunities, new challenges and a renewed
sense of purpose…as a NEW ME!

I celebrate the NEW ME and I hope that through my discovery and testimony that it leads to some of you discovering a NEW YOU.  My goal in my life is to change lives for the positive in any way that I can.  What about you?

Until next time....

Sharpen your EDGE and your LIFE will never be DULL

I am
The Sharp One

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